Musings from the Suburbs

Endings

2011-12-15T14:17:00.005+11:00

I recently wrote the following in relation to a service closure at my workplace. Thought I'd share

Great Spirit,

Who resides in the land, the stars and the people,

We give thanks for this building which has provided theshelter and the location of our Family Centre.

We give thanks for all its spaces

Play spaces

Work spaces

Talking spaces

Food spaces

Eating spaces

Group spaces

Administration spaces

Outdoor spaces

Parking spaces

For all that has been inspiring and challenging, resolvedand unresolved, growing and nurturing in this place we give thanks.

May the hospitality of this place be a welcome to newtenants and new service users alike in the days, months and years to come.

What is...Grace?

2011-12-10T15:03:00.001+11:00

Recently a seminarian friend of mine emailed from Rome requesting my take on what grace is for a 'Theology of Grace' unit he is currently undertaking. His lecturer asked the students to seek a Catholic and non-Catholic perspective. I think I just qualified for the non-Catholic gig! Anyway I really appreciated the request and found it valuable to revisit how I understand this old concept of Grace. I responded in two ways the first you'll notice is more spontaneous and experiential and the second more analytic and academic in tone. This reminded me how we can respond to spiritual notions from different internal spaces e.g. head and heart...both have value in putting language to the spiritual life.

GRACE PART 1
Grace is…

a word that points to relationship with the Presence that innervates every living and non-living thing.

knowing that the reality of Jesus and God is not a fantasy.

finding one’s home in the Sacred present moment

knowing you are loved despite your failings and self-centredness

knowing you can love despite your failings and self-centredness

awareness that there is life beyond death

a sense of connection to the Australian bush

sitting by a seaside on granite rock and feeling the presence of the divine in the waves and the wind

the blessing of children who sleep safely

the embrace of a child

the chuckle of an infant

good food and drink

the deep silence in one’s heart

the deep silence in the land that captures the heart

knowing that enough is enough

true solitude

lovemaking

the deep joy to be found in simple things that surprise by their ordinariness

finding God’s presence in unexpected places

knowing that even hard feelings can be a call from God back to the centre

experiencing the world through touch, smell, taste, sight and sound

friendships that endure

intimacy that endures

discovering the gift of compassion for oneself and the whole world

discovering that Jesus and God are Compassion and Silence and in reality no separation is possible

discovering that prayer and Scripture can lead to silence

looking on the world with fresh eyes

both grief and laughter

GRACE PART 2

Grace may be conceived of as God’s initiative in relating to and loving human persons…

With the following characteristics:

• Salvific and liberating - saving and freeing us from our limited selves. Expands our consciousness to renew or remember relationship with the divine at the ground of all being and existence…the classic lifting out of the mire (e.g. Psalm 40)

• Mystical – mysterious, amazing, beyond comprehension like the great hymn hints at. Grace leads to communion/union with God or is in fact an experience of communion/union.

• Embodied/Incarnated – experienced in the body and the world

• Freely available and unmediated – Anyone at any moment can experience grace – ie receive the sacrament of the present moment – (e.g. Francis de Sales and Quaker writers)

• Christological – in the sense that the receptivity to grace is “built into” every human person. This receptivity is a gift of the Risen Christ who resides in every human heart. Quakers call this ‘That of God’.

Thanks for having a read....I'll leave you with that lovely question from Quaker George Fox: And what canst thou say....about Grace?

PS Picture by my daughter.

The Marks of Men

2011-11-13T19:55:00.000+11:00

For some time now I have been reflecting on what symbols men seem to use in expressing their masculinity. I live in a city with a fairly blue collar history, still surrounded by lots of coal mining, port activity and industry. Without pidgeon-holing and overgeneralising how men express their identities it seems to me that there are three marks of maleness that are often turned to by ordinary young Australian men.

muscles...

fast cars and motorcycles...

tats (tattoos)

Some men seem to manage all three, kind of a like a masculine formula for getting ahead. Now then I'm not into getting judgemental here. I have trained in gyms for nearly 20 years now so I get the attraction and thrill of building muscles and strength. Fast cars and cycles...well from what I can see a lot of money often goes on meticulous maintenance, care and repair... that and everyone certainly knows when a big V8 is around. How could you be missed when your car dominates the sound waves? I also have to admit to being absolutely fascinated by tattoos and what they speak to in the soul of both men and women. Around Newcastle every second bloke seems to have a tat. While all of this is understandable and captures a spirit of adventure and risk, to a certain degree, I'm left wondering whether we can all go a bit deeper. Later we may also want to investigate links with anecdotal increased use of steroids and deaths in car accidents and how power, prestige and wealth can also be prioritised by men.

At the centre of ourselves, our interior places there may be some different markers for men to focus on. These marks might be invisible to other people, they aren't particularly showy or easily rewarded; not particularly loud or even concerned with supporting an 'identity' but certainly worth attending to. An alternative trinity for men, though by no means confined to men, might be...
Silence...

Compassion...

Listening

In silence we become aware that what we put on show may not be all there is within us. In recognising our compassionate heart we know we are part of the living reality of the suffering world/growing universe and in listening we spend time with voices other than our own....These are qualities found in Christianity and other religious perspectives and in particular in a spiritual life that might be influenced by monastic, quaker and /or a contemplative ethos. These marks of the soul are not something we can arrange or build up but can be seen as already given. The only thing to build up is our awareness of what is already happening...the gifts that have already been given...the 'identity' already given by the Holy One. How might young Australian men be both adventurous and contemplative? Who will encourage them on this journey with all that awareness of deeper layers entails?

Augustinian Martin Laird writes engagingly about these alternative realities in Into the Silent Land: A guide to the Christian practice of contemplation (2006).

"Precisely because our deepest identity, grounding the personality, is hidden with Christ in God and beyond the grasp of comprehension, the experience of this ground-identity that is one with God will register in our perception, if indeed it does register, as an experience of no particular thing, a great, flowing abyss, a depthless depth. To those who know only the discursive mind this may seem a death-dealing terror or spinning vertigo. But for those whose thinking mind has expanded into heart-mind, it is an encounter brimming over with with the flow of vast, open emptiness that is the ground of all. This 'no thing,' this 'emptiness' is not an absence but a superabundance. It is the fringe of love's cloak (Matt 9:20)."

Australian Constitutional Recognition for Aboriginal Peoples

2011-09-13T14:29:00.000+10:00

Some of you may be aware that last year the government installed an expert panel to advise on the possibility of a referendum to change the Australian constitution to recognise the Aboriginal nations and people of Australia. The panel is due to report back to the government in December this year with a proposal for a referendum question to be put to the Australian people in 2013. You can find all the necessary information including a discussion paper at www.youmeunity.org.au Submissions to this panel can be made by anyone and are due by the end of the month. It is clear that the Australian constitution is woefully and unacceptably out of date on this issue and in essence the constitution continues to enshrine the terra nullius perspective that dominated European thinking as they settled (or more accurately invaded) this country in the late 1800s and which has done so much damage culturally and environmentally to Aboriginal people and their lands. It is absolutely essential that such a major national document as the constitutional, even if rarely referred to outside of legal circles, reflects reality. This is particularly so given that Aboriginal peoples have called for such changes on multiple occasions over many many years... I suspect many Aboriginal peoples and communities have lost patience with the ongoing lack of recognition and the oppression this breeds. Recognition is code for affirmation, something every single person needs as a basis to social justice and quality of life.

In light of former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd's apology to the Stolen Generations in 2008 and the increased use of Acknowledgement of Country by many sectors of the Australian population the constitution must now back this up more effectively. I wonder whether a statement of recognition and rights could become a bit like acknowledgement of country accept at a national level for all the various Aboriginal nations. This may be one further way of helping us to get in touch with the reality of Aboriginal presence in this land. Or in other words rather than the implicit or actual terra nullius of the constitution we acknowledge that the land is filled with human -Aboriginal- presence and with the Great Spirit. Importantly this Aboriginal presence is to be seen as being in relationship with the land something we recognise everytime we acknowledge the traditional owners of an area. This may mean a letting go for white fellas but it may also be another little step (let's not get too carried away there is so much more to address!) in the healing of this land and it's peoples.

Apart from constitutional recognition there are important issues of constitutional racial equality and non-discrimination which you can find out more about at the website I mentioned above. Many of us would love to see the country progress towards a treaty which would set a firm foundation and commitment and vision for right relationship between Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal peoples. My understanding is that the constitution can set the tone for this to occur by providing provision for agreement making. However it is unclear at present in my mind whether the Australian population would be well informed enough and compassionate enough to begin to consider this possibility. The expert panel I mentioned above have the unenviable task of discerning what is achievable in a referendum and not just what might be the best vision. Failure at a referendum would be disastrous and demoralising for Aboriginal peoples and those who care about this issue. It might be that the idea of a treaty does not yet have its time but all this work will reflect where we are up to as a nation whether we like it or not. Patrick Dodson has a stirring address on the youmeunity website which you can find here on the topic of the imperative of reconciliation.

My workplace has started to consider what submission we would like to make. I learnt in talking with my Aboriginal colleagues yesterday that there are a few attitudes and actions that should be included from their point of view in these considerations: a willingness to listen, consultation with Aboriginal peoples regarding any developments that will affect them and a commitment to keep going beyond constitutional changes to address issues like access to land and fair distribution of wealth etc. Gees we have a long way to go but this is another bit in the process.

n.b. artwork by Richard Campbell (stations of the cross)

A Light with Us

2011-08-23T11:28:00.001+10:00

It's been a while since I've posted something here but the time has come again. In April our fourth child, Jonah was born much to our relief and delight after the loss of our third daughter Salome last year. And so adjusting to this new relationship has occupied much of the last four months for the whole family. I'd like to offer this piece of poetic reflection that I wrote during a time of solitude yesterday. This captures a little of my experience of this new one who has entered our lives.

First a few words about solitude... I'm aware that solitude is essential, if it wasn't already, for my emotional and spiritual equilibrium. While the solitude of each of us is a reality that is always present, as per Eckhart, it can also require careful planning and negotiation with our loved ones to include at least some 'actual time apart' within the multiple demands of our contemporary lives. Solitude is truly a womb to be drawn into where in we may realise our deep connections to what is seen and unseen and bring forth greater love in all our relationships. It is also in the silence of our own solitude that a reality may dawn, something well expressed in liturgy - contained in the soul is the Son of God - and in the Quaker phrase - That of God in everyone. Our job is to get out of the way and let this reality shine...babies have this in spades...

A Light for Us
This Little One is waking up
He knows who is who now
He shows preference for touch
And tickles he delights in.

The baby chuckle is surely one of the most
Beautiful sounds in the whole world.
Infectious, his face lights up
He waits for my next move...

With wide open smiling expectation.
I delight in him...The simple play
Of the new relationship between Father and Son
Sets in train the motion of love...

Do you have a love heart in you? I ask him but already know
A Love heart exists in all.
How precious then that even through
My constraints and strains I see it afresh in him.

After being deprived of touch
I still take it for granted like water.
Each touch a bond
A binding of souls that already know...

Their place, together, alongside
For as many moments as life will grant
Don't let that be forgotten, not now
When so much Light is present.

Blessings, Matt

Afternoon promise, Morning opens

2011-03-19T11:51:00.003+11:00

....NOW....

is the

Moment

for you

to wake

from

sleep

(Romans 13:11)

PS. suburban photos of Hibbertia scandens, a native creeper on side fence.

A Prayer for a Wise Heart

2011-03-11T13:21:00.006+11:00

Great Creator Spirit,
May we journey with Christ in all things seeking soul friendship and pilgrimage along the way.

May we enfold this given life in a soulful rhythm of prayer, work and rest.

May we practice sacred reading of Scripture and spiritual writings, art and science.

May we hold the whole world in Light and prayer, as we are held.

May we simplify life such that beauty, generosity and hospitality shine forth.

May we endow the earth with our love and gentle care.

May we, with wisdom and discernment, become a healing presence.

May we listen deeply in silence to the Spirit.

May we build a true communion of love with peoples of all faiths and spiritual traditions and of none.

May we spread peace, harmony and justice wherever the winds of the Spirit may blow us.
AMEN

Adapted from the ten elements of the Way of Life of the Community of Aidan and Hilda

Rock n Roll Aint Noise Pollution

2011-02-20T16:35:00.003+11:00

I think I have a little confession to make. This might seem strange coming from someone who is attracted to contemplative ways of life, silence and stillness...but I have to admit that I still love a good bit of rock n roll, specifically speaking some guitar driven hard rock and good quality blues. There's a still a hard rock guitar playing teenager ready to get out of my at times overly responsible exterior! It's clear that stillness is a beautiful gift but so too is the way certain kinds of music make the body start dancing, lift the mood and get the blood going. Listening recently to one of ACDC's recent albums as well as some old Eric Clapton drew me to this reality. What could be better help to get all those annoying chores done when the house looks like a tip with toys everywhere, clothes strewn around and dishes to be washed? I also like how our girls start singing Clapton's 'Lay Down Sally' and want us to keep putting it on replay on the CD player.

Rock n roll is well known for its excesses but one of its endearing qualities is its ability to bring some fun and soulful expression into life. Perhaps life doesn't have to be solely a reflective exercise...perhaps we don't have to take it all so seriously...perhaps dancing is the remedy sometimes alongside prayer and meditation at other times...perhaps God can incorporate dancing and contemplation, movement and stillness...not perhaps...clearly all of this is part of the sacred. So I say rock on...find your dancing shoes...let some of those old and new rockers move you towards the sacred dance even if that may not be their intention.

Meister Eckhart and the Practice of Presence

2011-01-29T18:19:00.001+11:00

Further to my previous post on solitude, I've just started reading a little of "The Talks of Instruction' by that reverred Dominican Meister Eckhart (1260-1327). There is some pearls in a chapter in which he responds to the question: 'Some people like to withdraw and prefer always to be alone. That is where they find peace, when they enter a church. Is this the best thing?' His answer is a definitive NO...his view is that solitude is not necessarily a problem but by itself it is certainly not the best thing. The reason is that there is a greater and more substantial life on offer.

We should grasp God in all things and should train ourselves to keep God always present in our minds, in our striving and in our love. Take note of how you are inwardly turned to God when in church or in your cell, and maintain this same attitude of mind, preserving it when you go among the crowd, into restlessness and diversity.

We should not content ourselves with a God of thoughts, for when the thoughts come to an end, so too shall God. Rather, we should have a living God who is beyond the thoughts of all people and all creatures. That kind of God will not leave us, unless we ourselves choose to turn away from him.

We must learn to maintain an inner solitude regardless of where we are or who we are with. We must learn to break through things and to grasp God in them allowing him to take form in us powerfully and essentially.

These are stirring perhaps confronting words for those of us in active family lives for example, preparing meals, attending household chores, intervening in sibling conflict, negotiating playdates and sex lives, arranging appointments and incomes and school drop offs and friendships etc. The 'God of all things' is a common phrase in many Christian mystical writings in particular. The all encompassing nature of this approach reminds that we are constantly called to express the love that already possesses us but that so often we are not present to. In one sense it might be easy in moments of solitude in lonely places, with minimal distraction, to direct our attention to God and this is good training, but the real test of our loving attentiveness is in the restlessness and hurley burley of life where presence may find us.

Solitude as a Source of Life and Community

2011-01-23T09:13:00.008+11:00

Solitude is the womb of Christian spirituality, the space which nourishes, which allows for the birth of the new creation or the newly transformed self (Maria Santa-Maria, 1983).

Recently members of the Community of Aidan and Hilda in Australia met in Geelong, Victoria (Wautherong land) for an inaugural retreat. This was the first time that our scattered lot from different backgrounds converged and shared a short period in community life. Please see Ray Simpson's blog summary of the retreat. I was fortunate to facilitate one of the sessions on the topic of solitude, that enormously important theme in the spiritual life. I will try to summarise some of the key points here. There are countless examples of solitude in Celtic tradition as well as elsewhere in Christian history. Indeed on visiting Celtic sites such as Lindisfarne and Iona almost ten years ago now I was almost immediately captured by the reality of solitude and how this might lead one into great relationship with the land, cosmos and God. The Rule of Saint Columba, written well after his death, has this as its first statement: If your conscience leads you to keep away from crowds, be alone in a separate place near a major city.
The fruits of solitude often lead to the great monastic centres in the British Isles. Solitude can be very beautiful, opening us to the wonders of prayer and land such as recounted in the Life of Kentigern (Mungo) by Joceyln:
And thus fleeing far away from the presence of the sons of men and waiting in the solitude with his body and mind, he dwelled with himself. And in that place, being more free for God, being away from the trouble of men and from the contradictions of tongues and discussions, he lay concealed in the presence of God in secret. Therefore as he sat alone, he raised himself above himself, and frequently dwelling in the caverns of the earth, or standing at the door of his den and praying after the commotion of storm and fire, he experienced the rustling of the light air breathing on him and anointing and filling him with a certain indescribable sweetness.

The beauty of solitude or this 'indescribable sweetness' will often be accompanied by some sense of darkness and in these alone spaces we uncover unexamined, wounded, ugly, unwanted parts of ourselves that if left to run riot will soon run our lives. It is this that Carl Jung called the shadow and encouraged not the annihilation of the shadow but its integration. And so beauty and shadow are inescapable friends in solitude. So it is no wonder that traditions of solitude often contain stories of wrestling with demonic forces:
Alone but for the help of God, he drove back from this island of ours (Iona), countless hostile armies of demons visible to his bodily eyes, which were making war against him and on his monastic community (Adomnan, Life of Columba).

While some of this language may appear to be unhelpful or irrational to our contemporary eyes, it nonetheless points to something real in our inner and communal journeys that requires our respect and attention.

We often conceive of solitude as taking place only in a 'separate place' far away from others and perhaps at times largely consisting of self-indulgent naval gazing. Of course these can be possibilities. However, true solitude always carries the wisdom that we are never ever disconnected from the rest of life or the world. For if we come into the 'cave of the heart' we also discover the 'soul of the world' and vice versa.

What relevance might these ideas have for those of us in committed relationships while parenting and leading full suburban lives? Certainly, listening to our impulses to solitude in 'separate places' is key as this may well be the spirit driving us out into a different and transfigured reality. However, we may also experience the solitariness of our being on a daily basis no matter what is happening:

To love solitude and to seek it does not mean constantly travelling from one geographical possibility to another. A man becomes a solitary at the moment when, no matter what may be his external surroundings, he is suddenly aware of his own inalienable solitude and sees that he will never be anything but solitary. From that moment, solitude is not potential – it is actual. However, actual solitude always places us squarely in the presence of an unrealized possibility of "perfect solitude." But this has to be properly understood: for we lose the actuality of the solitude we already have if we try, with too great anxiety, to realize the material possibility for great exterior solitude that always seems just out of reach. Actual solitude has, as one of its integral elements, the dissatisfaction and uncertainty that come from being face to face with an unrealized possibility. It is not a mad pursuit of possibilities – it is the humble acquiescence that stabilises us in the presence of one enormous reality which is one sense already possessed and in another a "possibility" – an object of hope (Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude, 1958).

It is in our actual solitude that life can move most freely within us...It is this life, this gift that we offer to others, that helps form true communities and listening souls. It is our actual, inalienable solitude that may assist us with the injustices of the world by embracing those who are alienated, alone, oppressed. It is from this place that we might also speak to systems that are disinterested in human transformation.

A final word, during the recent retreat session the reality of individual temperament was raised. The notion and experience of solitude, broadly speaking, tends be attractive to people who prefer to go inside themselves to find energy and life and less attractive to those who prefer to reach out to others to find energy and life. It is important to note that both are God-given impulses and require our discernment in each circumstance of life. Safe to say though that all are called to a measure of solitude.

The Way Up and the Way Down

2010-12-04T21:02:00.003+11:00

Last week I watched a documentary hosted by James May of Top Gear fame that explored the human journey into space and the Apollo moon missions in particular. As part of the documentary May prepared to have a space like experience including a crash course as an astronaut and taking a trip in a U2 high flying aircraft up to 70,000 feet above the earth -approximately double that of the altitude reached by a passenger jet. At that altitude the air is so thin that astronaut equipment is necessary to sustain life. Understandably he was very taken with the experience of looking down on the earth from that height and being able to see the beauty and curvature of our world. The words 'gobsmacked', 'amazing', 'privilege', 'I never get tired of this' were spoken between May and the pilot and eventually 'there are no adequate words'...an impulse to silence. Once on the ground May says 'If everyone could experience that the world would be a different place'...an impulse of compassion. These descriptions reflect what might be called 'peak experiences' or, in other words, a sense of being captured by a felt perspective that expands one's view of life and of one's place in that life. Sometimes such experiences are described as an 'encounter with God' which is another way of talking about the same thing.

And so in the silence of Friend's Meeting for Worship last weekend I felt moved to talk of this documentary and mused that perhaps in our spiritual rituals and practices we try to connect with this greater perspective. Further that the mystics of all persuasions have always known that the perspective of our place in the whole world/universe is possible from the ground as well as at 70,000 feet altitude. In response to my ministry two Friends wisely drew attention to the Transfiguration and the Temptation of Jesus, two wonderful but short narratives in the Gospels, easily overlooked for their teaching on staying grounded while retaining awareness of the greater perspective within and beyond our lives. In the Transfiguration narratives the three disciples Peter, James and John are drawn into an enlightenment by that which profoundly sources Jesus' life...the Divine Source...this obviously has implications for how they see Jesus but also their own identities. It is mindblowing! Orthodox iconography of the Transfiguration captures the energy of this moment which literally throws the three down the side of the mountain as they come to terms with the experience. In the story Peter quickly snaps back into an ego point of view and tries to preserve the experience by offering a dwelling place for Jesus, Moses and Elijah rather than being content with the awareness that he has been offered. The divine cloud disrupts this and the transfigured Jesus eventually accompanies the disciples 'back to earth'. It seems his work was not ultimately to stay on the mountain communing but to bring his expanded vision into the ordinariness of the world. Similarly in the Temptation Jesus is offered a vision of the the whole world for him to rule over and wisely sees the illusion of the offer as well as its destructive consequences. Peak experiences can become traps if they are misused or institutionalised or used to prop up our frail selves. Such experiences are gifts that draw our attention to what is really our natural inbuilt potential as humans to move towards Truest Reality through all the ascents and descents of our lives.

A New Quaker Vision

2010-10-10T22:17:00.005+11:00

A couple of weeks ago during leave from work I was fortunate to have two nights at Silver Wattle Quaker Study Centre near Bungendore not far from Canberra (Ngunnawal land). In its second year of lease from the Catholic Diocese of Canberra-Goulburn the centre currently provides a retreat and workshop program for limited blocks of the year. The centre has arisen in part to provide a space for Quakers and others to reflect on the future for our planet and communities as well as being a place of spiritual renewal and direction. Those who have provided the leadership in this regard amongst the Quaker community are hopeful that the property can be purchased and developed further as a fully fledged study centre similar to the likes of Pendle Hill in the USA and Woodbrooke in the UK. More info is available at http://www.aqc.quakers.org.au/ and the dvd explaining the overall background, vision and details of the property has recently been put on You Tube in two parts: Part 1 Part 2, I highly recommend a viewing.

Even though I was present at the centre for two days only I felt very quickly that it is a profoundly special place. In my journal I found myself writing: "The silence immediately captured me when I got out of the car after Jim picked me up from Bungendore train station. The silence of the land pressing in to my heart encouraged me to join the stream. An invitation to join the flow of silence - soon my own inner silence coheres with the Greater Silence - what a marvellous gift - all I can do is respond."

I was looking for a short retreat that gave me solitude as well as time for learning about the vision for this place. It was very easy to find this at Silver Wattle and contemplation became even more natural and less forced than in my normal round of daily practice back home. While in this environment which is open to 'all seekers' I realised that all my seeking over the course of my life in all its ups and downs somehow is all relevant, somehow all purposeful even when I cannot see this. I recognised that 'the seeking is a gift and in turn becomes a gift to give away to others. Our seeking is not something for memorialising it is a living, burning, yearning movement towards what is most real". The land can always help us with what is 'most real'. The 'most real' is what we need in our journey with the planet at this time. I walked the escarpment and looked out over Lake George (Wereewa) with the sun and the moon early in the morning...then during Meeting for Worship I felt the land as a powerful presence, pressing in on our worship and asserting itself as rightful participant. How right this is! The land is indeed an alive organism which joins with us and even carries us as friends despite all the abuse.

On the second night during Epilogue (daily evening reflection) we watched a biographical film from the 1980s on the life of Thomas Merton (1915-1968), monk, author and activist. He embodied a new vision for monasticism that was less institutionalised and withdrawn and more powerfully engaged with the world and the Spirit. In recent years my spiritual life has in part entailed a dialogue between quaker and monastic insights and practices...I find much life in both...At Silver Wattle the simple things of prayer, study and work are present and by their simplicity help to heal the land (and us)....another retreatant noticed how the land at Silver Wattle is responding to the care being offered to it. Is this to be, to use a Celtic phrase, a new 'place of resurrection' for faithful people and the land?

My only regret from my visit is that I couldn't stay longer and introduce this place to my partner and our girls...hopefully an opportunity will arise.

Later in the week after leaving Silver Wattle I discovered the following poem from Gerard Manly Hopkins (1844-1889) in my in-law's bookcase. Hopkins was a Jesuit and apparently one inspiration for Merton early on in his Catholic conversion. In the following Hopkins shares his own optimistic vision of the world's resilience with deep theological overtones. The opening line is contained in The Celtic Prayer Book that I use which is now gifted with more meaning....

God's Grandeur
The world is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil.
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil.
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil
And wears man's smudge and shares man's smells: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things.
And though the last lights of the black West went.
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs.
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

Blessings on our 'bright wings' too.

Sand Play

2010-09-12T17:31:00.001+10:00

This morning we went to the beach. Our older girl and I settled into creating some sandy villages in the beach sand while the other two went for a walk. We created five 'villages' with plastic containers...it was a good chance to enjoy the spring sun, the cool sand and the good company of my daughter. We were happy with our 'work' and when the others returned it was almost time to go. Our two daughters gleefully demolished the whole scene back to sand. I stood both enjoying their playfulness and feeling the shocking quickness with which our creativity was dispatched. It reminded me of the skillful Buddhist monks I have seen who create spectacular sand mandalas and then after a few days sweep away their work. Lessons in impermanence but also lessons in caring for the moment. No wonder Jesus celebrated so liberally. How soon our creativity and the beauty around us can be reduced to nothing. Destruction can take so little time compared to creation...we only have to think of Hiroshima and 9/11 to know this reality. Go well with your moments.

Contemplation and Action

2010-08-30T14:54:00.002+10:00

I hope you enjoy this link which contains a talk (audio and transcript) by Fr Lawrence Freeman of the World Community of Christian Meditation on Contemplation and Action. He describes very wonderfully how we can live in the centre of this paradox...Most movingly, in my experience of grief, is his tackling of joy and suffering and how affliction 'pins us to the centre of the universe'...via these unexpected and unwanted experiences we can come to truly know and participate in reality with all our being.

Alive with Flowers

2010-08-27T10:05:00.008+10:00

This plant is a Senna Artisemoides (Cassia species). I planted it for one of our daughters a couple of years ago. It has been flowering prolifically throughout our winter for many weeks now....making it's presence known with beautiful yellow buttercup flowers...it is very welcome in our garden reminding one of nature's capacity to renew itself and come alive...if only we see.

Seraphim of Sarov

2010-08-25T18:53:00.001+10:00

I learnt a little about St. Seraphim of Sarov (1759-1833) recently...he was a Russian Orthodox hermit and monk noted for his commitment to solitude and inner prayer. At a certain moment later in his life he opened to others more fully and began receiving enormous numbers of pilgrims who consulted with him...he is quoted as saying 'learn to be at peace, and thousands all around you will be saved'. What a beautiful and inclusive vision of prayerfulness...how might this become our vision too?

Nurturing Links for Inspiration

2010-08-22T16:06:00.000+10:00

I have added to this blog a list of the communities, websites and places that I have found nurturing on my journey thus far. Enjoy the wisdom and the common spirit to be found in these links.

Wonder in the Eucharist

2010-08-20T21:24:00.001+10:00

I sense a Eucharistic theology forming inside me the more I am drawn into both silence and the material ritual/liturgy of Eucharist. So with the risk of losing touch with the experience that informs this I'd like to share some of what is emerging....For a number of years now Quaker Meeting for Worship has been my primary contact with a local corporate body. However I have never quite lost touch with the Anglican roots that preceded it, indeed
I have continued to attend Eucharist from time to time...often finding that the depths that pull me are largely not attended to. The Quaker way and indeed the contemplative Christian path both have something to say about the Eucharistic nature of silence. I am not at all suggesting a discarding of the ritual of Eucharist. Along with Lawrence Freeman from the World Community for Christian Meditation, I simply envision a deepening when both silence and ritual dialogue with each other. In the Quaker unprogrammed tradition of meeting in silence and in other forms of contemplative prayer...holy communion is very much entered into...in the silence the real presence...the light of Christ...the bread of heaven. We bring our bodies for blessing for we are a dwelling place of the light. This is my body...this is my blood. In the silence take and eat, be nourished, know reality more deeply, know your connection to this reality, feel it, live it. Do this as often as you remember me. Return to this silent dwelling from which all love, all justice flow. Let the silence and the words that flow from this encounter help us to remember more fully Christ who is all and in all. Awaken the slumbering Christ...the self-emptied, self-offering one. Let this awakening be a natural opening. Jesus' words at the Last Supper have a cosmic immensity...only the most enlightened human being could utter them...they are in the words of Pierre Lacout, Catholic Quaker, 'silent words'. They are not to stop with Jesus though. Only followers who had apprehended the silent depths of the holy communion would bother writing these Gospel words down for subsequent generations. We are invited to take our turn too, blessing all that we can see, emptying and offering. This is my body. We know of the interrelationship of the cosmos from science and in silence we know this truth at the centre of our being. What then stops every meal from being sacred? Every intake of food, every inhalation of air? Moment by moment let us reign in our forgetfulness. Do this as often as you remember me. Holy communion is not once per week or once per day but in the immediacy of life. Our lot is to receive the gifts that uncover, reveal and peel back, living our constant communion.

The Jerusalem Prayer

2010-08-15T16:13:00.001+10:00

Last weekend I attended an ecumenical dinner and talk at a local Greek Orthodox centre in honour of a visiting Palestinian Christian man. It was a privilege to hear of strength in the face of serious oppression and highlights the gifts of those of us largely free of conflict and breaches of human rights.

This is the content of the little prayer card we received on the night:

'Australian Churches call on the Australian people to pray for an end to injustice and violence in Palestine-Israel so that peace with justice may transform lives in that troubled land.'

The Jerusalem Prayer

(The Heads of Churches in Jerusalem invite churches around the world to pray with them)

O God,

We give thanks to you for every

community around the world that is

praying with us this day for peace.

In your unfathomable mystery and love

for all,

let the power of your redemption and

your peace

transcend all barriers of cultures and

religions and fill the hearts of all who

serve you here, of both peoples-

Israeli and Palestinian-

and of all religions.

AMEN

Enclosed in the Trinity

2010-07-31T20:19:00.001+10:00

This beautiful metal sculpture is from from my parents in law which they commissioned as a memorial for our daughter Salome who died soon after birth six months ago.

They named this 'Enclosed in the Trinity'. It speaks to me of the circular communion of God...the open, silent, loving, spacious one. In my stiller moments I sense this source and destination for Salome and for all of us. This image is so capturing of the attention that it nurtures my heart.

Silence and Sacred Images

2010-07-11T16:04:00.001+10:00

I will be offering a free half-day retreat at Anawim Prayer and Retreat Centre in Wangi Wangi near Newcastle. Here's the details:

Silence and Sacred Images: Experiences of silence and contemplative prayer can nurture our awareness of the power of religious and everyday images. Likewise images may invite us into silence and depth. Our time together will include spaces for both silence and meditation with images and tap into Christian traditions of contemplation and iconography. 10-2pm, Saturday 24 July.

Anawim is at 16 Wangi Point Road, Wangi Wangi. Phone Sr June Flynn for bookings on 4975 1436.

The Father's Touch

2010-06-05T08:51:00.000+10:00

I wrote the following poem during some time away recently. I dedicate it to our precious daughter Salome who lived 27/1/10 - 30/1/10. The photo is from my mate Nick who took this on a Wales beachside.

This is the father's touch.
To affirm a new life.
To be silently present.
To seek rousing fun and connection.

This is the father's gaze
To look and behold new form.
To be beloved and belove,
The shapes, the contours,
The skin, the will to live.

This is the father's love
That you will grow
with strong intimations of
Your centre, where you belong,
And I will guide you some of the way.

This is the father's tears,
That you did not last beyond a few days.
That your sisters cannot share
The washes and the cuddles.
That your mother's desire goes untended.

This is the father's wonder
That my love grows still.

xxx

An Afternoon Prayer from the Suburbs

2010-05-13T21:32:00.001+10:00

The lovely prayer below is from my friend Jason Clark who writes:
"I wrote this prayer to go at the beginning of an afternoon time of prayer & meditation, towards the beginning of the service. An alternative beginning call \ response is one I found in the daily office part of the Anglican book "A Prayer Book for Australia". + Peace to those who are far off, Peace to those who are near."

Peace to those absent,

Peace to those present,

Peace to those known and unknown.

God of the hopeless and hopeful.
We are here again, gathered in sacred circle,

The familiar afternoon street birds are chirping, the cars are going by and we feel the afternoon breeze as it brings refreshment from the heat of the day.

The sun sets, the day begins to end and the night descends.

Conscious of the now, we breathe in, and out, stilling ourselves, and being present in the now.

We are here for a range of reasons,
some because, life is hard and sad

For others life is good and happy.

Many reasons, many situations, but this time is for us.

Breathing in, and out, in, and out. We are here, present in this moment, the other can wait or take care of itself.

Come now Holy Spirit, comforter and guide, be present with us and bless this time making it a sacred place.

Amen.

Even the Darkness is Light to You

2010-05-09T16:43:00.000+10:00

Even the Darkness is Light to You

Only it is a longing to be in Love.
Now it is a stillness.
Now it is a darkness.
Now it is a path less travelled.

Only it is the path I did not desire.
Now it is a grieving, angry determination.
Now it is a quietness and a deep rare silence.
Now it is a body of good present people.

Now this is how you speak to me, this blinded one.
Your speech is both enough and never enough.
I am consoled and I am hanging on.
I don't feel particularly grateful.

But I am alive circling, feeling my way to the Nowhere Centre of the Universe.

Making Sense of Spirituality

2010-04-19T20:37:00.001+10:00

Today I facilitated a little session with colleagues at work on 'spirituality and helping work'. As part of the conversation I shared with them five points about spirituality in general that occurred to me as I prepared the session (by no means an exhaustive list). It struck me that our meaning making about this concept of spirituality is coloured by a number of things including our personal experience and preferences as well as traditions and communities that we link to. Spirituality is such a broad term and challenging to make sense of given we enter into territory that is a bit hidden from view, often beyond words.

There seems an ever increasing interest in the helping fields about spirituality given its potential to improve people's quality of life and enable helpers (in all forms) to be fully present and discerning.

So here goes (you'll note my reflections contain both contemporary and traditional elements):

A. Spirituality is not easily articulated by human language. However certain words can help point to what we might be referring to: love, compassion, wisdom, connection, interior, silence, life, death, ultimate reality, solitude, community, sacrament, justice, present moment, journeying, land, earth, faith, hope, peace, mindfulness, stillness, presence.

B. Spirituality is usually more aptly expressed through poetry, prose, story, prayer, art, music, ritual, silence...once we move into explanations of ultimate reality we are in the territory of theology, philosophy and science though the boundaries are not black and white and nor do we want them to be.

C. Spirituality usually privileges experience over everything else. Some writers contrast spirituality and religion. Religion is usually envisioned by these writers as hierarchical, structured, institutional, patriarchal and often oppressive of spirituality. While there is some truth to this all religious expressions have at their core an initial life experience(s) that has inspired their development.

D. There can be two important generalisable movements or experiences in spirituality: i) one takes us outwards beyond the confines of our selves, culture, nation, world and ii) the other takes us inward to our inner experience as human beings e.g. the daily interior life. Spirituality can be said to have universal & transcendent as well as personal & immanent qualities. These movements can occur simultaneously or separately but they are often interwoven together; for some people even becoming an indistinguishable experience.

E. Spirituality can be seen as all-encompassing, in other words it invites an attitude of openness to our whole of life experience as individuals, communities, our common humanity. For example spirituality can be experienced in suffering and joy, life and death, mystery and knowledge, words and silence, knowing and unknowing, sense and intuition, relationship and solitude, longing and belonging, success and failure, religion and science, presence and absence and so on.

How do you make sense of this intriguing term spirituality?

The Gatekeepers to Mental Health Reform

2010-03-30T19:54:00.001+11:00

A recent debate between the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition was focussed on health reform including the place of the federal and state governments in improving service delivery. Both leaders failed to address or mention mental health in the debate. Mental illness and emotional distress continues to be a significant burden in individual lives, families and communities including as a cause of death by suicide. A few years ago mental health was more significantly on the political agenda with several high profile parliamentarians around the country suffering mental health problems and able express their experience. Now this focus seems to have been lost. The program I work for is only funded for another few months at this stage and includes a focus on families and children. This is an important perspective to retain in the healing of people's emotional lives and providing adequate attention to the next generation of people.

The current Australian of the Year, Patrick McGorry is a notable psychiatrist in the areas of young people's mental health and early psychosis. He is becoming outspoken about the reduced attention to mental health. It is certainly time we were much more consistently addressing this as significant human area and so today I supported a new ad campaign initiated by GetUp and involving Patrick McGorry. Please see the following link. You can donate to the ad campaign online. One wonders if despite substantial improvements the stigma of mental health is still too much for many politicians. Obviously services that respond to the needs of the body primarily will remain important but mental health is one area in which we are faced with societal issues as significant contributors to emotional distress such as violence, homelessness, sexual assault, abuse of children, substance abuse, family relationships, refugees, workplaces, lack of relationship to nature, gender issues, sexuality etc etc. We deal with the inner life of people in the area of mental health and thereby touch the inner life of the nation. This has an ineffable quality about it that is challenging to quantify and understand and support. We can touch some dark places in supporting the emotional lives of people who find themselves afflicted with such difficulties. Perhaps this is simply too hard for some politicians to provide consistent leadership around and it is easy and seemingly easier for the voters to talk solely about emergency departments and hospital infrastructure. We must however find a more holistic approach whereby the needs of the body and soul are given adequate attention in the community and in social and health services overall.

What Acknowledgement of Country Means to Me

2010-03-20T13:35:00.000+11:00

Connecting with the land has always been important to me in some way. I grew up with a botanist father in Western Australia who was often drawing my attention to the hidden secrets of beauty and life within the bush. This was more a process of osmosis by being around someone who was able to look beyond the surface for the purposes of studying the intricacies of our flora. Sense of place was also important in as much as to be able to note the contours of the land, weather, soil, geography and how this relates to other places and how certain plants and animals might be able to survive or thrive. This background by no means leads me to claim special status but it has given me a feel for the bush, an appreciation of its sometimes harsh beauty and the importance of it's protection and care.

The practice of acknowledgement of country has also become increasingly meaningful for me as a non-Aboriginal person. For many years I have often found myself moved by Aboriginal stories of loss but also strength in the face of suffering and an ability to more forward with a new vision. I have become convinced that the practice of acknowledgement of country is an important step towards healing of the land and all its peoples. Indeed Aboriginal colleagues that I have contact with seem to a person to support it's practice. However, many people find this practice to be 'tokenism', as dismissive of other key groups in Australia or as even causing division. Such criticism was recently led by the Federal Leader of the Opposition, Tony Abbot and Member of parliament Wilson Tuckey in a kind of headline grabbing way that was picked up by the media. See for example:http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/03/15/2845854.htm

Of course any practice can become 'tokenism' when it is not supported by a felt sense of meaning but we can go much further and we must because the soul of our nation depends on our attention to these matters. Australia has an opportunity given it's relatively young history since colonisation and when compared to other nations, to better overcome racial divides and wounds. My workplace which includes Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal staff has been supporting the practice of Acknowledgement of Country in various ways before significant meetings as part of a larger national move in this direction.

Here are some of the main reasons I support this practice:

An Acknowledgement of country reminds me that there are people, traditional owners, who have been here before...who lived on this land for many thousands of years before Europeans arrived and whose descendents still live here. It is a recognition of many generations which goes beyond recorded history...we do not tend to think in thousands of years very often and it is helpful to put our own lives in this perspective. I honour this timeless relationship with land.

The first peoples who live here seem to value the land as part of them...even as being owned by the land. Further that the land provided everything necessary. This is a real perspective and a counter-cultural view of ownership...without the land and all that it provides we are nothing so we are obliged to it...further we take the land into our bodies on a daily basis via air, food and water...we are literally part of it. I honour this Aboriginal sense of bodily intimacy with the land.

An Acknowledgement of country reminds us of the elders or the custodians of the land...people who care for land and culture in the past, now and the future. This can remind us of values that we dare not live without namely that ageing can bring wisdom that is worth nurturing, that care and custodianship of the land is an imperative and that generations come and go but the land remains our bedrock. I honour this wisdom in our Aboriginal brothers and sisters

Naming and claiming these things does not mean I avoid or dismiss the complexity of colonisation or of Aboriginal/non-Aboriginal relationships. Or that I cannot recognise that there are positives in the arrival of Europeans, or that there aren't conflicts within Aboriginal communities, or that we don't need to back this up with addressing the issues related to the quality of life of Aboriginal communities etc. Acknowledgement of Country is not an invitation to become simplistic in any way. Nor is it an issue of superficially thanking Aboriginal people for use of the land as indicated by Wilson Tuckey, although gratitude maybe part of our response to these issues. For me it is also acknowledging the human suffering of Aboriginal peoples and of the land and the ongoing consequences of colonisation. Once this becomes our starting point we have a more real foundation for the acknowledgment of our collective suffering and for the hope that our Australian peoples can become more loving and just in the process.

May the practice of Acknowledgement of country continue to evolve into something deep and real and meaningful.

Peace.

These Lenten Days

2010-03-17T10:28:00.000+11:00

The Season of Lent is an intentional journey towards death guided by the Jesus story of our heritage. A decision to willingly consider and embrace suffering and death is required for this journey. The way of the cross is something we might prefer to do without and so we can engage in much avoidance. So it strikes me that lenten liturgy engages us in a process of considering our failings and our sinfulness as an element of this journey. Part of me cringes at a words like sinfulness and sin. Yet a reimagining of these words and what they point to maybe helpful if the Christian spiritual life is going to take on new and deep meaning for us. It seems to me that if sin is reduced to a moralistic behavioural code that we do or don't meet then we haven't gone far enough. Of course our human behaviour is cause for reflection and for amendment. However we do carry light and shadow together with us on a daily basis. So whatever the word 'sin' conveys perhaps it is more about the limits we place on our capacity for wholeness in which the shadow points us to the light and the light helps us embrace the shadow. Indeed the way of the cross embraces the shadow side of humanity, our violence, our existential anxiety, our power games and our avoidance. Above all it exposes the self that perceives only isolated existence and draws attention to the more subtle voices that really require our attention, namely our connection with all that is, our families, our land, humans who help us in times of need, our compassion for others and the Source who enlivens all. And so rather than specific acts that are or aren't acceptable our 'sinfulness' is really more about our mindlessness, our lack of practising 'the presence of God', and our closing down on what is real. Death and the way of the cross is the 'in-built' corrective or a central force in our human transformation.

I do not speak about these things simply as theory anymore or good ideas. They have become very real to me in this last two months with the birth and death after two and half days of our third daughter. The sheer vulnerability of a birth, a very sick baby who could not stay in this life and a dying baby have drawn me to what is real like nothing else, like no other deaths that I have experienced. For me and my family the way of the cross is not a decision this year, it has been imposed by life. A real, physical stations of the cross and a touching into the heart of the crucified one. I now carry a wound that cannot be erased and an absence of life where there would otherwise be noise and breastfeeding and touch and cuddles. John O'Donoghue says this absence of a loved one is like a tree that grows beside you. I think he is right, it has in my experience a presence all of its own. Even when I am not visibly upset by our reality my heart carries this woundedness, this deep grief, that life is not what it could be.

While I find liturgy helpful at times...at this time specifically Friends silent Meeting for Worship and meditation on my own both come into their own. Silent places where my grief can be allowed to take its own time, where there are no guiding posts for the heart. My soul simply fumbles forward having experienced this death...I only really have my trust that there is the something More who draws me on. This is I think what William Johnston calls the 'prayer of suffering'...it is also a 'prayer of nothingness' that takes me into a 'terrible gift' namely the wisdom from wounds that I did not seek after and unimaginable love within me and around me. I say love, because I have never had cause to love like this. I did not really and truly and deeply know about this kind of love in myself or in all the people who have supported us.

So to draw this together perhaps lent is where we acknowledge that death and love are inconstricably linked, one cannot go without the other...love must know death, otherwise it is not really love. I leave this post with a quote from John Main (d. 1982), master of Christian meditation:

Death itself, especially the death of someone we have loved, teaches us what love teaches us. It reveals to us that the more deeply we love and enter into communion, so the more radically we must become detached and non-possessive. To continue to fall into love we must continue to fall way from the ego. It is the final and most demanding of the lessons that life teaches us. It is the absolute finality of the Cross, the single-pointedness of the Cross that yet opens up into the infinite universe of the Resurrection (Community of Love, 1990).

Blessings.

Living into the Sacred Depths of Everyday Parenting

2010-01-23T20:13:00.001+11:00

The following is a brief article submitted recently to the Aidan Way (community journal of the Community of Aidan and Hilda) and The Australian Friend.

Immersion in a life of raising young children can have a relentlessness that knows no bounds. It is hard to imagine where days and weeks and years go in the birthing, growing and learning. I now know by experience that rearing children is one of life's holiest and most challenging endeavours. What would lead my life to join in the conceiving and growing of new lives? What force keeps stirring me to commune with the sacred within my life and the life of the world? Something about bringing children into the world brings one closer to what is real: the holy round of life, generation after generation. From leading and controlling to being led. Led by the power of ecstatic intimacy and union with my lover to new life. Even the movement of desire within one's body, heart and mind is impossible to articulate satisfactorily. But it is something more than two lovers that desires this new life...A life so new that its uniqueness will never be seen again. And paradoxically a life shot through with the same life that every other human experiences in some way.

I imagine our first daughter who senses our readiness and decides upon a new becoming. I sense the power of our second daughter who surges from the invisible into life. I enter the mystery of our unborn child who brings great sickness but dancing feet and intriguing forms. A child is like Jesus, the teacher, who turns to the crowds on the road and demands the fullest attention. A child comes from the source of life itself, beyond the sexual encounter that sets cells in motion, and invites the greatest attentiveness. A child, like all of us, comes with the capacity for union, the one thing necessary. Why is it that only in my most contemplative moments do I see what is absolutely real? The simplest moments in the life of parenting can be the most meaningful. The heart rendering anticipation when one knows the waiting is over and birth is imminent...The delight of physical contact with a child whose feelings need soothing....Peacefully observing the imaginative play of children...The natural wonderment at the world as it is...The satisfaction that comes when children are asleep and all is finally quiet for another day. These are by no means uncommon experiences.

Becoming a parent forces a shift in the self. The vulnerability that comes with the changes in this stage of life is fertile soil for a new self to emerge. Waiting for birth, feeding at all hours, reduced sleep and energy, maintaining relationships and personal priorities and changes in sexuality all can be confronting on their own. The shift to parenthood can also bring about reflection on the wounds and strengths of one's own childhood and the qualities and weaknesses of one's own family background. So internally much is going on. In all this one's humanity and connection to the larger whole can become more real. I remember holding our first baby daughter outside a Quaker Meeting while she slept one morning in 2005 and identifying with the Mary of Orthodox iconography who is pictured contemplating simultaneously the wonder of new life and the unavoidable movement towards death. The swaddling cloth of the infant is also the burial fabric of the tomb. Reflections on mortality are not just the preserve of the sick and the elderly but also of parents! There is enormous stillness in this contemplation because the Holy One is near and both beauty and grief are close at hand. Perhaps the beauty of a child is even more precious because we know in our most aware moments that all is fleeting, all is passing away. Even one's meditation on this passes away.

In my less profound moments when I am feeling most overwhelmed by parenting and family relationships I experience the shadow side which lurks and is sometimes expressed in feelings of great impatience, irritability, isolation, anxiety and anger. It is tempting to be harsh towards my shadow side with its fire, inflexibility and self-entitlement but its fragility is palpable and carries a desire for wholeness...a desire to remember that I am not in fact alone and do not need to carry the whole thing or meet all the external and internal expectations attached to my life. In my most horrendous moments of anxiety, stress and self-judgement I long most at these points to return to the Centre and yet it seems so far in the distance and, like the Prodigal Son, I sometimes do not know how to return or indeed how I got there. It is no wonder that the unceasing prayer of the desert was: Be pleased O God to deliver me. O Lord, make haste to help me! (Psalm 70:1). Perhaps it is the Holy One who longs most passionately for us in this inner desert when the shadows lengthen. For me it is my instinct for prayer, silence and loving relationship which becomes the salve and the gift. This gift hidden somewhere in the depth of the shadowy places represents a longing to be-loved so I can in turn love my family and the world from my heart rather than some fearful place. God help me to minimise the harm to others in the mean time! Family life, viewed from this lens, becomes a place for peace making.

And so like the passion narratives of the Gospels, I find that when I look at the whole thing it is passion which is lived out in my parenting. I commit to reject nothing in my experience of parenting, embracing anguish and the sublime, anxiety and fulfilment, ecstasy and isolation. I commit again to a journey of peaceful ways, seeking holiness in family life and affirming those moments in which the Sacred makes itself most known.

Too Much Christian In You

2010-01-19T20:58:00.000+11:00

I was reminded today in talking with my partner of an amusing story from my student days when I lived in a community household with two close friends in Perth, Western Australia. One afternoon I was sitting on the front porch reading when a dirty, scraggy looking fellow with tobacco stained beard and red pock marked nose suddenly appeared at our front gate. "Want your gutters cleaned out, mate?", he said. I was somewhat startled but managed to respond, "Oh I don't know haven't looked at them recently". I walked over to him and we performed the most cursory inspection of the gutters from the ground before I found myself pitying him, taking in the smell of smokes and booze and general state of disrepair and agreeing to have our roof gutters cleaned for twenty bucks. Our new subcontractor got himself up onto the roof so adeptly that he'd definately done it before and started talking while he scooped some muck from our gutters. After a while I left him to it and went back in side. As I took all this in it occurred to me that I didn't necessarily want to condone someone's alcohol habit so I went back outside. "Heh, would you like me to get you $20 worth of groceries instead of cash?" "No thanks mate, the cash will do...there's too much Christian in you son" he offered, with a whimsical and friendly tone. After about an hour or so of gutter muck getting scooped out we mutually agreed to end the piece of work and I drove him to the local bottle shop where he presumably continued his relationship with the bottle. He told me he was likely to try to find a bed on the concrete grandstand of a suburban sporting ground.

I have thought of this interchange at various times since and it never fails to bring some amusement. I like the 'there's too much Christian' line. In a sense this homeless fella saw right through my attempt at spontaneous social work. There is the 'too much Christian' in most of us, the part that is all too willing to intervene and slip into self-righteous changing of other people with little genuine compassion and acceptance of frailty and idiosyncracy. The "too much Christian' part of our spiritual life can easily deny our own addictive behaviour in favour of manipulating others. Like the contrast in the Gospel of Luke between the Pharisee who thanks God that he is not like sinners and the tax collector who recognises his own failings. The tax collector is the one who goes away 'right' with God. Thank you for wise homeless men who wander from place to place offering to clean out gutters.

Study for God's Sake

2009-12-13T19:46:00.000+11:00

Many of us attracted to the spiritual life want to find ways in which we can learn more about past traditions, Scripture, ways of prayer and relationship with God etc. From what I can gather there are numerous options these days for study in theology and spirituality. The picture above is of the previously known Centre for Christian Spirituality(CCS) in Randwick, Sydney. It was the first centre to initiate Catholic distance learning or correspondence type courses back in the 1970s with the intention of deepening faith in students and lay people. The Centre for Christian Spirituality has since moved and gone on to bigger things as the Broken Bay Institute, recently forging a link with the University of Newcastle in New South Wales. For more info visit here. The old building pictured is now a Catholic accommodation facility with some magnificent art in the foyer and hallways. The Masters study I undertook in 2002 was with this lot and at the completion I received the inaugural CCS Award in Spirituality which acknowledged the initial vision of making theological study more accessible. Certainly study in one's home has enormous advantage in relation to accessibility but it can also be isolating and lacks the physical community of students within which ideas can be tested. However, distance learning was for the most part nurturing and I learnt much. In fact I learnt much about the riches of Christian practice and traditions and of placing myself in this lineage. The great turning over centuries towards the Presence that is felt in the midst of life, sometimes barely perceptible but worthy of our attention and love, has led to incredible outpourings of faith and practice. I felt a much greater grounding in this background and renewed enthusiasm to dialogue ecumenically and with people of all sorts of backgrounds. Above all though, formal study becomes an invitation to include a little study in the everyday. The monastic emphasis on balance provides the essential technology of nurturing our minds through study in conjunction with practices that expand the heart and value the body. In reality we love God and others with our whole self and study, formal or otherwise, is simply one aspect in our overall growing as persons.

The Prodigal Bear

2009-11-29T15:15:00.000+11:00

The parable of the Prodigal Son plays out at our place on a weekly basis. Our younger daughter has a beloved brown teddy bear called Sally who is greatly prone to becoming lost in multiple hiding places around the house and backyard. Sally is sometimes assisted by our older girl who sometimes likes to taunt sister by taking Sally away and hiding her somewhere in the house. On other occasions Sally is simply included in a game which can involve being tucked away in a pretend doctor's bed or some such and then... well who know's where Sally is at the end of the day? The bane of our parenting existence comes when it is time for said daughter to retire to bed and..."oh no Sally...where's Sally!?" Thus commencing great searching, cursing and lamentation and all the usual and unusual possible hiding places are checked sometimes multiple times. There is great rejoicing and reunion when Sally is finally located after twenty minutes in some unpredicatable location cavorting with other toys that had been included in the now long forgotten game. And so everyone can breathe easier. At other times Sally is unlocatable and so, like recently, we tried the substitute comfort toy..."how 'bout lovely brown kangaroo, he wants to have a nigh nighs in your bed tonight and he's a good friend isn't he?" The sleeping certainly wasn't as good and in fact brown kangaroo was promptly ejected from the bed...next morning Sally was suddenly discovered to shrieks of delight, "Yay, I found Sally!" Do you have any 'lost and found' bears at your place?

Parenthood and Prayerfulness

2009-11-01T21:12:00.000+11:00

Every stage of our lives offers fresh opportunities. Responding to divine guidance, try to discern the right time to undertake or relinquish responsibilities without undue pride or guilt. Attend to what love requires of you, which may not be great busyness.

An Advice and Query from the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers)

Many of us with young children are also called to a life of prayer and contemplation. Parenthood and prayerfulness can seem somewhat mutually exclusive at times with the various tasks that juggling parenting, relationship, a household and formal employment entails. However, the challenge to find a balance in this is of great importance so that we are trying to live the richest possible life as we guide our children into the human/earth community. The weaving together of all the seemingly disparate parts of our lives is precisely the work of prayer. Prayer can give us the necessary perspective that we are part of something much larger than ourselves. While this is an area that requires much more than a few lines I'd like to mention a few practical and attitudinal things that I and others have found helpful at various times in the journey of linking prayerfulness with parenthood.

find space for a short silence and prayer in the morning.
pray an office or part thereof on public transport.
Memorize a midday prayer for use during paid or unpaid work or as a prayer stop.
Become aware of breastfeeding as an office or vigil.
sing Taize style chants while driving.
pray with children using a 'song, little silence, short prayer'
look at icons with children.
Mindfully observe or participate in play with your children.
pray the Angels of the Hours at gratefulness.org with your children.
allocate 1-2 spaces per week for Lectio Divina or prayerful reading of Scripture.
find space for a longer silence in the day somewhere (I like night prayer as silence as I am often last to bed in our household).
negotiate with your partner or other trusted person a 12-24 hour time of solitude a few times in the year or as possible.
If you use a specific prayer or mantra in your silences return to this during the day in the midst of activity.
Arrange to see a spiritual director who can help you to remain mindful and centred during the challenges and decisions of this stage of life.
Reflect on the Gospel figures of Mary and Martha as the active and contemplative parts of ourselves. View this Teaching from Lawrence Freeman from the World Community for Christian Meditation.
Be prepared to be interupted in specific times of prayer; Rather than respond out of irritation or frustration try to turn any interuption into an opportunity to extend your experience of prayer.
Be available for prayer that comes without planning or expectation; Accept the simplicity and giftedness of being drawn into Presence when this comes for you.
Be committed to gently returning to the Centre of your life even in the midst of stress, chaos and fatigue. Stress can contain the seeds of wisdom.

These are only a few thoughts...I'd be very happy to receive comments, tips, experiences and revisit this substantial topic again.

Best wishes to all.

International Day of Climate Action October 24

2009-10-24T22:08:00.000+11:00

We attended a local climate action playdate for families here in Newcastle as part of the International Day of Climate Action. This action focuses on the number 350. 350 is the amount of carbon in the atmosphere in parts per million that is the upper safe limit for humans, according to scientists. The world has slipped past this mark and therefore grassroots actions on this day call for world leaders and others to work towards bringing this figure below 350. See the website for much more information. Some photos from the event we attended which emphasised the impact on the next generation if inaction on climate change continues are available here.

Care for earth is an element of the Way of Life of the Community of Aidan and Hilda and many other religious movements and communities. It is now the perogative of every person community or no community to make some contribution to caring for the earth and to support where possible those who build the earth community through events like the 350 campaign. I am inspired by people who are able to get people together around these issues...where we care for earth we care for the soul of the world. Where the soul of the world is there is Christ and there children are deeply valuable because they contain in them the precious next steps in the earth's story.

Watching Closely

2009-10-24T15:15:00.000+11:00

Holy One,

This day may we watch for you,

In the play of children,

In the presence of sea, sun and soil,

In subtle changes of weather,

In the lives of our neighbours,

In the still spaces between words and work.

Watching you closely so that in all things we sense your Being.

Holy Playfulness

2009-10-19T20:27:00.000+11:00

The Lord created me at the beginning of his work, the first of his acts of long ago....then I was beside him like a little child; and I was daily his delight, rejoicing before him always, rejoicing in his inhabited world and delighting in the human race.
(Proverbs 8:22, 30-31)

I have been reflecting on children's capacity for play and how natural it is. Certainly my children are drawn towards play equipment of any description and will have a go at most things in most playgrounds. Most other young children I meet are the same. We found this playground in a city setting in Sydney set beautifully amongst a grove of trees. Play is often very spontaneous and it doesn't seem to need much for imagination to be sparked not only by play equipment but with simple blocks and stuffed toys. Play is also very bodily for fearless little people trying out new things. It seems to lead to calmer children as though there is something necessary about it, something centring...something parents are often grateful for.

Playfulness can become stifled in us adult folk as we focus on responsibilities and tasks to the detriment of our soul. While adults may not play in the same way as children we can recover our spontaneity and the immediacy of what we are drawn to rather than what we are required to do or feel we must do. Is this what Jesus might be encouraging in proposing that we become like little children and that this is the pathway into Presence (Luke 18:17)? Interestingly it is possible Jesus is reflecting that older children are already losing this capacity for dwelling with God hence the reference to 'little children'. The most vulnerable among us including little children may indeed be the most receptive to spirit. An emerging tradition of new monastics represented by a number of dispersed and localised communities is transfering the insights of the centuries old monastic traditions to various contemporary settings. Children have an essential role here in leading their parents and other folk who would be the new monks and nuns of our age into the playground of the soul, earthed in divine presence, irreplaceable beings in the ongoing creation.

Evening Prayer

2009-10-16T19:18:00.001+11:00

From activity to stillness, from rush to reflection. Evening prayer is a time of drawing down, recollection and peaceful attentiveness. Even in the midst of family life and just for a few moments to listen for this transition perhaps with the aid of a psalm, prayer or chant. How has the day left me, what might I have done differently, who am I carrying in my heart? I accept who I am in this moment with all my joy and pains. I let Peace pray itself within me and my life, radiating outwards, willingly entering the mysterious darkness and silence that night brings. Go well.

Acknowledgement of Country

2009-10-15T21:39:00.001+11:00

Welcome to my new blog site...I hope you enjoy the posts that I'll put together and also feel free to follow up points of interest as you wish. I'd like to acknowledge first up that I write this blog from the land of the Awabakal people who are the traditional owners of the areas around Newcastle, Australia and the nearby Lake Macquarie. I pay my respects to the local elders and custodians who care for country and nurture the transmission of culture from generation to generation. This survives despite the destructive impact of European colonisation on Aboriginal culture from the late 1700s to the present day. The beautiful landscape above, captured by a friend of mine, is representative of coastal country in this area and one of the attractions for residents and visitors alike. Acknowledgement of country is now often spoken by Aboriginal or non-Aboriginal people at the start of important meetings or events or when necessary to remind us of the heritage of a local Australian area and that without land and the people who have nurtured it we have nowhere to rest, work and play.

I wrote the following blessing earlier this year to try and capture some of the essence of this
(re)emerging tradition in Australian society.

Tribal Land Blessing
The land on which I sit is Awabakal land.
Bless the tribal peoples who have walked here in ages past, who walk it now and will walk it in the future.
This is a land to respect, nurture and be with.
Great Spirit,
For the silence of the land be blessed,
For the water from the skies and the heat of the sun be blessed,
For the fruit of the land be blessed,
May You embrace, circle and fill our beings each moment of our lives.

Written in Solitude, Callicoma Hill, Wonnarua land, Saturday 15/2/09

Peace, Matt